Deep Friendship

With the Earth Element :In Deep Friendship, we honor the body and sovereignty of another.  We nurture the other in the ways of Earth: food that they enjoy, a comfortable place to rest, soft touch of a hand, a hug, a shoulder to cry on.  All of these are physical ways of expressing friendship.  Earth rules the time it takes to build deep friendship and trust.  Over time we see another’s needs, offering a helping hand with no strings attached.  Deepness is seeing the physical needs without a reminder, for we honor the other as ourselves. Even if they are different, we remember their bodily needs and honor them.  Our actions speak for themselves.  We share and trust them with the things we treasure (a special book, the keys to our house).  We know that our deep friends also honor us.  The gifts and time we share build the bonds of friendship – ever deeper and stronger.  Earth is the foundation of deep friendship.  Our simple presence with one another brings a quiet joy.  We always have the freedom of choice in entering into a deep friendship.  Growing closer at our own pace.  Waiting is…

Stone symbols:  aventurine, chrysoprase

Activities:  see above …

1. Cooking a favorite meal
2. Remembering another’s physical limitations
3. A massage of their favorite part
4. Sharing your abundance without expectation of return
5. Enjoying seeing your friend’s physical presence
6. Trust building exercises and games
7. Time together

With Air Element :The words we speak are our truth-bond with our deep friend.  We seek communication and look forward to it.  The people we choose share our ideas and thoughts.  Even when we disagree, we honor our friends’ ideas.  We are not afraid of our disagreements, for we know that our bonds will withstand contrary ideas, (although too many differences can strain or break our friendship).  With our friend, we have the freedom to speak our mind.  We trust they have our best interests at heart when communicating with us.  We share our experiences, the fruit of our searches for knowledge, and our favorite books and movies.  We enjoy having a fellow traveler in our curiosity and willingness to learn and expand our knowledge.  We always seek to say what we mean and mean what we say.  We trust our deep friend with our secrets, but also honor the secrets chosen to keep—always honoring another’s sovereignty and freedom to speak, or not to speak.  We are not stingy with compliments, for we love to see our deep friends’ happiness.  We continue to try and understand our friend.  Together we explore and share – greeting mind to mind, again and again, we learn each other’s language.  Bridging the gap of our aloneness.

Stone symbol:  blue turquoise

Activities:

1. Conversation,
2. Exchanging letters and phone calls,
3. Sharing favorite books,
4. Movies and music,
5. Asking “Why?”
6. Word association games can reveal our inner language
7. Sharing blogs and journals
8. Websites
9. Sharing the fruits of our knowledge

With Fire Element :As friendship deepens we become more conscious of our bonds.  As we share over time (Earth) and speak our minds (Air), the fires of passion for one another sparks a Light for others to see.  We are unafraid of showing our friendship to others not in our circle.  We glow when we are together!  We explore each other’s dark places, trusting we are safe from exploitation of each other’s weaknesses.  Instead of outshining each other in competition, we rejoice and blend our auras and consciousness.  If one of us falters in the journey of self-knowledge, we pause and allow our friend to become more conscious of their dark places.  Waiting Is.  If our friend’s Light dims into depression, we share our own Light with our presence, reminding them they are not alone walking the labyrinth of their own dark mystery.  With our friend we are not afraid to express our true selves, (warts, weirdnesses, and all), for our friend does not judge us but welcomes the wholeness of our being.  Our friend is not jealous of our Light and our passions, they welcome it – adding their own ‘Passion-Light’ to ours, for all around us to see and enjoy.  Others are drawn to this warmth of Deep Friendship, and the circle grows.  We remind each other that we are truly God/dess.  Be excellent  to each other!

Stone symbols:  amber, garnet

Activities:  See above. Also see Self-knowledge/Fire, do these activities together

1. Encourage each other to find and pursue their passions.
2. Be supportive when fears arise.
3. Translate words of love into action  for our friend

With Water Element :One of the most challenging parts to share with our Deep Friend are our emotions.  They are pre-verbal and set down in childhood – & are affected by traumas in our Life.  However, happiness and joy are also emotions.  We are wired as Humans to remember well the sad, mad, & bad parts.  So, as a friend, we help them to also remember happiness, laughter and gladness.  Because our emotional make-up is inborn, we learn to accept this in our friend.  Sharing our burdens makes them lighter.  We help each other pass through the shame that our culture places on emotions, (for they are seen as a weakness).  No! Emotions are powerful, and they are needed to make true Magic work.  The secret is to channel their powerful flow for good.  Strong emotional bonds are created when we feel secure and seen by another.  When we share each others’ tears of sadness or laughter, we bridge the gap of our loneliness.  The deep mystery of another’s ocean of Being – their Past, their memories, are revealed.  Deep friends allow this process of unveiling in a safe, patient, and non-judgmental way.  Feelings cannot be judged and measured, only felt.  (We cannot rip the skin off the snake.)  Why do we choose this person over another to be our Deep Friend?  It is a gut-feeling of rightness.  Our rhythms match and we entrain.  We all find our own Bands to play with!  We share water as a sacrament – as we look into four friend’s eyes we remember and affirm our relation.  Water shared, is Life shared, is Love shared.  Never thirst my deep friend!

Stone symbols:  aquamarine (blue), larimar, blue chalcedony

Activities:

1. Magical ritual,
2. Raising energy,
3. Moon-magic
4. Dream interpretation,
5. Aura-work
6. Reminiscing together,
7. Telling jokes
8. Sharing water
9. Trust-building exercises
10. Listening deeply beyond words

With the Ancestors :For those who have gone before us, Deep Friendship with them is a memory.  We honor them by remembering their life and our past sharing of friendship.  Perhaps there is someone that you would have liked to be in a deep friendship with, someone you admire.  Imagine sitting down with them over a cup of tea.  What would you talk about?  What does their face look like as they smile or frown?  What does their voice sound like?  How do they make you feel?  What are their passions?  What is daily life like in their time? This exercise may seem frivolous, but it can be great practice for deepening the friendships of the here and now.

Stone symbols:  black onyx, snowflake obsidian

Activities:

1. See above
2. Genealogy of your family – imagine a conversation
3. Spending time with elders
4. Explore biographies of close friendships in the past – how do others form deep friendships?
5. Research texts of how relationships form and endure, pearls of wisdom

With the Descendents :In creating deep friendship with children we must be aware of their level of development.  Still, they have many of the same needs as adults – but more simple and straightforward.  We teach and encourage the development of their self-knowledge first, so they can enter into a deep friendship with inner confidence and emotional maturity – as equals.  Be aware that they will learn from our example, and also we will learn from our children, as they have an uncanny way of knowing where our emotional ‘buttons’ are!  As parents, we must realize that we cannot have a true deep friendship of equals with our children.  This must wait for their adulthood.  Parents must learn to let go, and let their children form deep friendships of their own free choice.  We can only give them the tools, and the fruits of our knowledge and experience.

Stone symbols:  white howlite, selenite

Activities:

1. See the 4 elements of deep friendship above, and share these activities on their level of development
2. Teach them to care and love others as they love themselves
3. Teach them to channel their energy for good, not to repress it
4. Expose them to many different people, cultures and languages
5. Encourage them to share their dreams, and also their fears.

With the Community :As we share deep-friendship with another, the whole community is enriched.  Our example can show the way for others. Monkey see – monkey do!  When new people join the community, they experience (maybe for the first time) a new depth and joy in a group that is excellent to one another.  Deep-friendships build networks that can endure, and achieve goals where others have failed because of personal strife/misunderstandings/suspicions.  What we learn in creating deep friendships can also apply to larger groups – even those we are not in a personal relationship with (like the workplace).  With the foundation of deep friendships, a group can achieve great things.  Fear is replaced with confidence, hate is transformed to love.  Now we have the power to address the larger issues facing us as a human civilization living sustainably on this precious planet Earth.

Stone symbols:  unakite, granite

Activities:

1. See all the activities listed for Deep Friendship
2. Research group dynamics, utopian societies, non-violent communication
3. Networking, renewing relationship, having fun with each other!
4. Welcoming ‘strangers’ into our community – teaching them our customs